Friday, May 4, 2012

From Pakistan with love...

Contributed by Rabie Haider

In an alternate universe, S. Hussein sends a letter to A.A. Zardari, inquiring if he should consider imitating the version of democracy practiced in the Nation.


Dear S. Hussein,
Let’s face it, you and I are both here for the money. Our practices may be different on the surface; I run a democratic country and you practice dictatorship, but deep down inside, we are both the same. Our motives are the same, we share the same desires, we both are materialistic and we both are highly talented at what we do.
Dictatorship is a dying trend and democracy is the latest global fad/trend. I guarantee you that unless you change some fundamental practices of your government; you will not remain in power much longer. The present Super Power practices a farce of a governmental order and in order to ensure its continued existence, it cannot allow any of its competing ideologies to remain intact.
Nevertheless, I have good news for you. Democracy is a simple process. All that you have to do is to step down from your post temporarily and announce free elections. Promise the masses their basic necessities (food, clothing and housing) and they will rally behind you like sheep behind a shepherd. The next step is a little complicated, but nothing hard to pull off. You just have to inform your political adversaries that you will rig the voting process in your favor and in return they can have anything they want (within reasonable limits of course) once you are in power again. Please ensure that anyone who disagrees should become involved in a little “accident” somewhere down the line. Lastly, promise your fellow politicians the same positions they currently have (with new titles of course).
You may question; what of the Super Power? The answer is, once again, simple. Promise them a few of your oil fields and you will have their full support (and funding).
You have my and the Nations full support. We will be with you every step down the road.

Yours Sincerely,

A.A. Zardari
President of the Nation


Post a Comment