Contributed by Rabie Haider
In
an alternate universe, S. Hussein sends a letter to A.A. Zardari, inquiring if
he should consider imitating the version of democracy practiced in the Nation.
Dear S. Hussein,
Let’s face it, you and I are both here for the money. Our
practices may be different on the surface; I run a democratic country and you
practice dictatorship, but deep down inside, we are both the same. Our motives
are the same, we share the same desires, we both are materialistic and we both
are highly talented at what we do.
Dictatorship is a dying trend and democracy is the latest global
fad/trend. I guarantee you that unless you change some fundamental practices of
your government; you will not remain in power much longer. The present Super
Power practices a farce of a governmental order and in order to ensure its
continued existence, it cannot allow any of its competing ideologies to remain
intact.
Nevertheless, I have good news for you. Democracy is a
simple process. All that you have to do is to step down from your post
temporarily and announce free elections. Promise the masses their basic
necessities (food, clothing and housing) and they will rally behind you like
sheep behind a shepherd. The next step is a little complicated, but nothing
hard to pull off. You just have to inform your political adversaries that you
will rig the voting process in your favor and in return they can have anything
they want (within reasonable limits of course) once you are in power again. Please
ensure that anyone who disagrees should become involved in a little “accident”
somewhere down the line. Lastly, promise your fellow politicians the same
positions they currently have (with new titles of course).
You may question; what of the Super Power? The answer is,
once again, simple. Promise them a few of your oil fields and you will have
their full support (and funding).
You have my and the Nations full support. We will be with
you every step down the road.
Yours Sincerely,
A.A. Zardari
President of the Nation
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